Wednesday, December 8, 2010
How do you know when you have found true love? I have often pondered this thought and have NO idea how to tell. I am a married mom with two awesome kids and still something is missing. I love my children dearly but feel that maybe this marriage is not what is right for me. I think back to the last person that I dated before I got married and realize that maybe I missed the person I was destined to be with. This person was going down a road that I did not want to go down but instead of being persistent in trying to help to change him, I walked away. That was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. But I thought that all of the emotion that was between us was drug induced. I have missed this person dearly over the last 15 years and finally decided to look him up. He was doing very well for himself and even has custody of his daughter (which is awesome). I have talked to this person on several occasions and even seen him a few times and realize that this is one of the happiest times of my life right now. My heart skips a beat every time I hear his voice or see his face....I want this to be the person that I go to bed with every night and the person that I wake up to every morning. I have that butterfly feeling when I see him and have that horrible feeling when I am not with him, only to look forward to the next time I get to see him. He is one of the reasons that I wake up in the morning and the one who makes my world go around. But how do I make it happen now? The feelings are SO strong and I have no way to tell him without totally breaking down. I have hinted to him as to how I feel, but I have no idea if he "got" it. I have even looked to God to tell me what to do, I have prayed so many times for this to be the real person that I am meant to be with. But I know in my heart that No matter how hard that you pray, He will only make it happen, if He thinks it is good for you. I want so badly for Him to want for me what I want for me.